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Monday, February 11, 2013

AS GOOD AS IT GETS

     Berk and I have been doing a blog tour for our book, which comes out very soon, as you can see by the count down being conducted to the left.  We've answered all kinds of questions. Such as what is our favorite food, or what kind of superhero each of us would be; and whether we prefer Coke or Pepsi, (I like Diet Coke, Berk likes Dr. Pepper). 

     I loved Berk's answer to the question, "what has been the hardest part of writing the book".  Berk said it was finding a picture of the two us to be put in the jacket that our wives liked.  To say we are not photogenic is being gentle.

  
     I don't know what is wrong with white shirts, but this is what we really look like.  (I am on the right).  This picture, though, was not good enough, and we had to keep trying.  It's not as if a different lens or focal length is going to change us into George Clooney and Brad Pitt.  And, I'm not sure why we have to look better than we do anyway.  It's not as if we are applying for jobs as male models, (maybe models for Mexican Wrestler's Masks).  We write horror fiction.  I think we look like people should look who write horror fiction.

     But, the wives weren't happy, so we kept trying.  Maybe we could find a camera that would capture our souls, the very beliefs in our beating hearts.  How would that look?




     This time, I'm the one on the left, (in so many different ways).  But we must face facts.  We are not that good looking.  There may be a copyright issue here too.  So, that leaves us with just our own hapless mugs.  We look like what we look like.  I know this seems self evident, but for those people helping us pick the right picture there seems to be some belief that if we keep taking more pictures one will pop up that makes us look better than we do.  We appear like we look as we are in all our physicality.  Whatever the hell that means.

     That reminds me of when one of my kids got married.  I hate the long tedious photo sessions that seem to be a necessary requirement of weddings.  I offered the photographer an extra $50.00 if he would just take my picture once and then photo-shop it in everywhere it was supposed to go.  He looked at me as if I was crazy.  That's okay, I'm used to getting that look. 

     But that still leaves us with the task of trying to get a photo that looks like us and is presentable enough to put on the jacket of our book.  So, we keep trying.



 
 
     By now you can tell which one I am as opposed to which one Berk is, right?  Of course, there still may be a copyright issue.  I must say, we are getting better looking with each effort.  In the end, though, I think our publisher would like a photo that actually looks like us.  I really don't know why.  Who buys books based on the appearance of the author? 
 
    Our wives would still like a better photograph of us, and we have learned that we should trust their opinions, especially on those issues we clearly don't understand.  (In all the time we have been married we have learned a few things, and between the two of us we have accumulated over seventy years of marriage.  Can you believe that!?)
 
    So we put on shirts with color and looked for a more interesting background, something related to the book, and we tried again.  I think we still look like us, but here goes:
 
 
 
 
     I'm back on the right, (in so many different ways).  George Clooney and Brad Pitt can heave a collective sigh of relief.  As long as they don't start writing horror fiction we won't get better looking.  And that's a promise I will have no problem keeping, what's so ever .
 
     So here we are, writers of scary books.  We freakin' look like writers of scary books.  What's wrong with that?  As long as the wives are happy, of course.
 




8 comments:

  1. hee hee, I love the photos! Your last one is the best, good thing you have those wives looking out for you. They just don't want your readers too scared by your picture that they don't even read the book. ;)

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    1. There is something to be said for looking scary when you aren't even trying. I guess we are just talented that way.

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  2. The last photo is perfect. Don't change it...unless you plan on photoshopping some blood dripping down the walls. You should go ahead and put as much blood in there as your wives allow.

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    1. Lots and lots of blood, . . . umm. I like it!

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  3. Hahahaha! What a great post! I like your pic - it has personality and it's much more interesting than a boring head shot. I have to take my author pic this week and I'm so nervous. Funny the little things that come up for a book launch, huh?

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  5. Oh man, that blank stare and pointing is priceless. Quite an ominous photo. Haha!

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  6. You make me laugh, Andy! I loved this post. So clever and fun. And yes, people will buy your book no matter HOW your pictures turn out - LOL. That being said, I love all your pictures, Berk and Andy. You two are great!

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