Tuesday, September 11, 2012


     As promised, I am writing something about the Democrats.  I have a harder time with this one because the Democrats are just not as funny as the Republicans.  You Democrats, don’t take that as a compliment.  Seriously, or rather, not seriously, Bill Maher gave you a million bucks toward Obama’s presidential campaign.  Maybe he’d send you some jokes, for free.  Ask him.  He might even send a funny one.  (Although it would be hard to beat Clint Eastwood at the RNC, and he wasn’t especially trying to be funny).
            My complaint against the Republicans was that I didn’t believe them when they said they were going to cut the deficit.  Oh, I believe them when they say they want to cut it; I just don’t think they have the cajones to go through with it.
            My complaint against the Democrats is that they think they are so smart that they have lost the blue collar base that used to be an essential part of their makeup.  Please note, I didn’t say they were actually smart, just that they think they are smart.  If they were actually smart blue collar people would still be voting Democrat.
            During the 1980s the term “Regan Democrat” was coined.  What’s a Regan Democrat?  A Regan Democrat is the parent of today’s blue collar Republican.  It is a person who votes for tax breaks for people who have more money than he or she does; who votes against economic self-interest; who votes on social issues that aren’t going to change; and votes to cut the size of a government that subsidizes over 50% of his or her life.  Democrats, HELLO, how did you lose this voter?  This is a blue person wearing red clothing.  (That even looks awful!)
            So here is what you are going to do.  First, quit thinking you are so freakin’ smart.  Second, go online to Amazon and buy the following CD: The Charlie Daniels’ Band, A Decade of Hits.  Yes I’m serious, and no, don’t download it onto your iPod, buy the CD.  I’m not sure what the qualitative difference is between the CD and downloading, but I am sure it is there.  Listen to this CD until you connect.  If you are asking what I mean by connect, you haven’t listened to it enough.
            Songs to pay attention to: Devil Went Down to Georgia.  Georgia was the first Southern state to vote Republican, in 1964, for Barry Goldwater.  Huh?  Huh?  Spooky, huh?  Next: The South’s Gonna do it Again.  Vote Republican if you can’t figure out how you lost these voters.
            Other songs to pay attention to:  Uneasy Rider, there is a real parable there, and it is funny, as in, FUUNNEEEEEE; In America, listen to this song a gazillion times, (if you don’t get it, you will never get these voters back); Still in Saigon, (What can I say?), if you still wonder how you lost these voters in the first place, go back and listen to it again; Long Haired Country Boy, (my personal favorite),  there is so much deep, deep, psychological, personality-like, bull crap in this song that, well, if you get it you can just go ahead and move into a single-wide with some long necks.  (If you just asked what a “long neck” is, then you still don’t get it.)
            This is good advice.  Not just that it came from me, but objectively speaking, (yea, right), this is good advice.  Of course no one will actually follow it, which is why all those blue collar voters will vote red neck, (and yes I know that is just the opposite of a blue person in red clothing).  Or better said, the South is gonna do it again.  And again.


  1. Great post, Andy. This is how I think of it: If you aren't a democrat in your twenties, you haven't got a heart; if you aren't a republican by your forties, you haven't got a work ethic; if by fifty you don't realize both parties are working their own agenda to line their own pockets and lighten yours, you haven't got a brain. Or a crappy accountant. But I digress.

    1. Thanks. I think you and I maybe kindred spirits.

    2. So does that mean that at 26 I don't have a heart, or that I have a great brain and excellent accountant? Being 26 I am my own accountant so I'm rooting for that one.