THE THREE STOOGES

          I rented the new Three Stooges movie over the weekend and watched it (as opposed to renting it and playing frisbee with it).  The plot was predictable, the dialog sophomoric and the humor crude.  I loved it!  This movie really stayed true to the heart and spirit of the original Three Stooges, the Three Stooges I watched on TV as a child.  (No, I am not old enough to have seen them in the theater during their heyday.)  Go to:  http://movie.threestooges.com  (Last time I did a link I did it wrong.  Hopefully I did it right here.)

            I appreciate it when a movie is made of something from my earlier years and that movie stays true to the original story; unlike, say, the movies Wild, Wild, West or The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe. 

I don’t understand how this Three Stooges movie was not a huge blockbuster.  I don’t understand how someone cannot like The Three Stooges.  And especially, how someone cannot like Curly.  I mean, Larry and Moe are great, and the new actors playing them did a great, a fantastic, job.  But Curly is Curly, and Will Sasso nailed him.  Truthfully, if I could do as good an impression of Curly as Sasso did in the latest Three Stooges movie I would shave my head and do Curly impressions 24/7.  Seriously, (wait, I can’t be serious on this topic, let’s say “honestly” instead), this is not exaggeration or hyperbole, I would literally shave my head, buy a sports coat that is three sizes too small, and do Curly impressions all the freaking time.  (Need I mention how glad my wife is that I can’t do a decent Curly impression?)

I would do Curly at the store, at church, at my in-laws, (oh, how I would do Curly at my in-laws).  I would speed in a known speed trap just so I could do Curly to the police officer who would be giving me the ticket.  If you cannot understand how fun that would be, how truly precious, to do Curly to an officer trying to give you a ticket, then you just do not understand and appreciate Curly.  Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk.   It would be so worth the cost of the ticket.  (Did I mention that my wife is very, very happy I can’t do a decent Curly impression?)

I just want to be able to say, “Oh a wise guy, heh?” and say it in the high, nasally voice, squinting the one eye and leaning forward for the precise amount of effect.  To snap my fingers and slap my fist, or do that funny backward hop/skip, and do it like Curly.  Why would you ever want to stop?  I wonder if Will Sasso is still doing Curly? (Perhaps he is married.)

I would walk up to complete strangers on the street and ask for the time, just so I could do it like Curly.  I would talk to strangers all the time.  I would talk to dogs.  I would talk to Mormon and Jehovah Witness missionaries:  “Would I like to hear more?  Ceiwantly!  Come on in!”  Can’t you imagine the looks on their faces?

I would somehow get myself invited to a political fundraising event, (either party, but Republican would be more fun) and stuff the pockets of my too small jacket with shrimp and mini-éclairs while doing the Curly shuffle.  And when they asked me for money?  How the fun would start.  (You know of course that my wife is absolutely ecstatic that I can’t do a decent Curly impression.)

           Yes, I enjoyed watching the Three Stooges.  Maybe I’ll start practicing how to do a Curly impression.  Or, maybe, I’ll watch an old Laurel and Hardy movie instead.